Friday, September 24

All the reasons why many men find it hard to talk about their sexuality

We start from the basis indicated by the doctor, psychologist and sexologist Alfonso Antona: “For heterosexual men, talking about sex is common, what they avoid are topics in which they can be questioned. They talk about quantitative achievements (how many, how many …), but any conversation in which their worth in terms of erotic profitability could be questioned is avoided ”.

In other words, it is difficult for them to talk about their autosexuality, their pleasure, of using erotic toys alone because “declaring that they are used, according to what contexts, means that some men feel questioned and judged.”

This occurs in the field of sexuality focused on penetration, says the sexologist, “where even today masturbation is still valued as an erotic by-product and recognizing that ‘toys’ are used would confirm the inability to undertake penetration”. Through four testimonies of diverse sexual orientation we captured a photo of how many men today face their sexuality.

A sincere but censored testimony

For example, a brilliant forty-year-old poet who asks to be called Pedro Pachón for eloquent reasons affirms: “It is not difficult for me to talk about sex, but it never ceases to bewilder me how closed the cultural world is regarding sex, when it should be more linked to the libertarian ”.

However, it has suffered censorship from publishers, readers and institutions, in his opinion, because, “in Spain, there is still the fear that they will label you as vicious. Up to that point, sex has been restricted, to the point of turning pleasure into a pejorative label, which, above all, is inappropriate for ‘formal men’ ”.

The sexologist Antona clarifies this: “for a man to declare that he uses anal stimulators, sadly, in a homophobic and patriarchal context, means putting his masculinity in question”. And he adds: “for men, a condition sine qua non it is having an erection, which limits the options in the search for erotic toys ”.

The evolution of male masturbators

For both Pachón and Jorge Escada, single in his early 40s, his friends were amazed by his sexual openness, the masturbators they had used so far were quite unsatisfactory, they did not meet their expectations.

To meet that demand, the Swedish brand of sexual well-being LELO, specialized in luxury pleasure objects, launches “the pleasure console” LELO F1S ™ V2. It is described by a 26-year-old young man who prefers to preserve his identity under the alias of Zoe Garcés: “it is a cylindrical-shaped device, of a dark color, which, from the inside, glows with bluish tones. The design is elegant and the box in which it comes as well. It is not at all grotesque, like other types of male masturbators. ”

He adds that “the texture and internal finishes of the F1S ™ V2 are very good. The operation is very simple, the vibration mode is controlled with a button on the top of the device ”. In addition, it has a app in which you can customize the programs, patterns and intensities and save these preferences.

Curiosity for novelty in the face of previous frustrations

Upon learning of the launch of the male stimulator F1s-v2, Pachón assures that he would love to try it: “I am tempted by everything that is to try and much more if it causes a different sensation or stimulation”. For his part, Jorge Escada, observes that the F1S ™ V2 “seems amazing” and would try it out of curiosity, like all the men interviewed.

“Some men doubt whether to use a stimulator for something that can be done manually,” says 40-year-old television host Fernado Puyó, who owns two dildos sold as female.

Carlos Sopena, married with a son, would also try it, who explains: “I have used an anal toy, not exclusively male, and always in company; but for a matter of context, not because I don’t feel like it alone ”.

Gay men: less concealment and more openness

Sopena is one of those heteros thirty-something who usually “talk about sexuality both with their partner and with friends.” Now, he considers that his “homosexual friends speak more openly about their autosexuality, because, with their experience and experience to express themselves sexually, they have had to break down several obstacles.”

It refers to two elements: “patriarchy, which also negatively affects men and their way of relating to sex (it is forbidden to express oneself beyond the standards of ‘machito’). And with religious Catholic morality, which covers everything with a cloak of silence ”, interprets this journalist.

Fernando Puyó alludes to this: “in our case, supporting the slab of Catholic morality, it is truly social suicide to speak freely about one’s sexuality”. Despite this, he confirms that homosexuals talk about sex, “as a rule, more fluently, while straight people are afraid, because the group tends to ridicule them.”

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