Martín Ezequiel Álvarez Giaccio is 44 years old and on Tuesday allegedly murdered his son two years. A few days before, her partner had announced their decision to end their relationship. “At the hotel I leave you what you deserve,” Martín wrote to the woman in one of the threatening messages he sent her that afternoon, when he took the boy for a walk. That chilling phrase perfectly sums up part of the background of sexist violence: it is the violence that women receive for making decisions, for wanting to be in control of our lives and trying to live them freely. This violence hits us and hits other subjects, such as boys and girls.
In this case, there is no information on whether the man had previously exercised any type of sexist violence against his partner. On the other hand, the separation was so recent that there was no agreement or custody regime. The investigation could add other data, but beyond all that, the woman who today mourns the loss of her son had made a decision, that of separating. “You will regret it,” he wrote her, who decided to punish her for it.
Expert voices emphasize that men who exercise sexist violence do so to control women. When bullies perceive that their control decreases or when they fear losing that control, the risk for women and also for their children increases significantly. The decision to separate is one of those moments in which the aggressors feel that they are losing control and can redouble the violence to try to regain it.
In the words of Miguel Lorente, former delegate of the Government for Gender Violence: “In 2020 we had the lowest number of sexist murders because of the limitation of mobility, the restrictions and the difficulty to get out of violent relationships, both due to the circumstances social as well as economic, they made the aggressors already see their objective fulfilled: the control of the victim (…) The pace of the pandemic influences and now that we are in a moment of optimism even economic, it makes many women consider getting out of relationships, which is the time of highest risk of murder, when the aggressor feels like he is losing control. So the risk of cases that end in murder or serious assault is going to increase. “
“You will regret”. “In the hotel I leave you what you deserve.” Martín Ezequiel Álvarez Giaccio thought that his ex-partner deserved punishment for making his decisions and not wanting to continue with him. Martín Ezequiel Álvarez Giaccio wanted to hurt him and regain lost control. To do this, he did not hesitate to exercise violence against his son and allegedly murdered him. Today the child joins the list of minor mortal victims of sexist violence. The woman, to the list of women who suffer violence that will not end because the absence of her son is forever. The aggressor, to the list of men who do not accept that women are subjects and that they are neither our owners nor our saviors.
In the same way that in other cases we focus on the failures and blind spots of the system, in the protocols, in the courts or in the detection systems, this crime should serve to remember the social and cultural background of gender violence. Or we act on masculinity, affective relationships and the values that surround them, and socialization or by many protocols and detection systems that we have, there will continue to be men who think and even pronounce a “you will regret it”, a “I will give you where it hurts more “or” you deserve it. ”
The degree of violence, beyond the verbal, that is behind each of these phrases will vary, but it will continue to be the violence they exert against us because we are the women they do not want us to be. It will continue to be violence – which also affects girls and boys and sometimes other people close to women – with which they try to maintain a control that they believe belongs to them.