Tuesday, September 28

In defense of girls and boys

Let’s see how long it takes for those who are always on the side of the strongest, when they find out that this week the new Law on Children and Adolescents in Andalusia has come into force, to drop that of “Well, my father was a child. He threw me tight, and it is clear that he did not generate any trauma to me “. As if it were not enough of a mark of that mistreatment to have forgotten that the blows, coming from the one who is supposed to protect and care for you, not only hurt that old child, but also left the adult that he has become very damaged. As if it weren’t enough not to be able to distinguish between afraid and I respect; as if the fact of having gone through that hell validates that the girls and boys of today also have to go through it.

Let’s see how long it takes, as soon as they know that November 20 has been declared Children’s Day in Andalusia, in saying that of “and by when will Father’s and Mother’s Day? Ah, it’s true, they already exist! By when will a law for the protection of the Pater Families? “They forget that, since ancient times, the figure of fatherhood has been linked to the idea of ​​privilege:” when you are a father you will eat eggs. ” rite of passage towards supposed adulthood. For the children of these parents, the family has been a prison. That “you will honor your father and your mother” is fine, as long as, correspondingly, there is a “you will honor your daughter and your son. “Nobel Prize winner Bertrand Russell argued, on the fly, that” young people should not be advised to give in to the pressures of the old in vital matters. (…) The arguments of the parents should not be a sufficient reason to give up the attempt “- he put it as a case – to dedicate himself to the theater. And you’ll see when the enemies of the inclusive find out, moreover, that the Defender of the Minor will be called from now on Ombudsman for Children and Adolescents!

Are we willing to listen to girls and boys? I am afraid we are too afraid and I despise them. His kingdom is not of this world

To this day, and despite all the declarations and conventions to protect children, there are still too many people who, in practice, do not think that children have the right to be heard, or to honor and to their own image, or to their gender identity and expression, nor does that of the minor’s best interests enter their minds. Of course, none of these people think of recognizing the social value of girls and boys and, far from it, keeping their opinions in mind. I am convinced that a city conceived from the point of view of the chaveas, whose urban plan really took into account the needs of the little ones and even their perspective on things, would be a truly inclusive city, passable, of course greener, less aggressive, more humane and welcoming to people with special needs. Are we willing to listen to girls and boys? I am afraid we are too afraid and I despise them. His kingdom is not of this world.

But there is also a lot in these times the abuse of children in the opposite way, not because of lack of love and physical aggression, but because of a kind of suffocation of love and excessive interference in their lives. It is something like the consolidation of the phrase that says “the devil loved his son so much that he hindered him.” Back in the late 90s, the poet and pedagogue Reverse Isabel Escudero promoted the Antipatriarchal Association in Defense of Children, focused not so much on the problems of the most underprivileged, which the State must take care of, but on the specific ones of “well-raised children, those Consumption children (…)” suffocated by the market, school, extracurricular activities and the family.

Pedagogy must begin, more than with children, with us older people

Here are some examples of such suffocation and grief:

The business of products and services for infants is so relentless that having children seems like an exotic luxury, because how can we deprive the fed up child of everything they tell us they should have. In this sense, it cannot be strange to us that childhood addiction to screens and video games has become a problem of the first order.

Nor is it surprising that children with rare or rare diseases have to put up with their condition; the pharmaceutical industry is not interested, curing them is not profitable. Who defends the right of these creatures to life and health?

In the past, girls and boys escaped the intensity of their mothers and fathers through the extended family (aunts, cousins, grandparents …) and school. Now children’s life tends to occur almost exclusively within the nuclear family and with the school’s collusion with mothers and fathers, which leaves little airs for girls and boys. That the father, now, in many cases, is the main playmate of his son does not stop being something really denatured.

In addition, there is a certain effort in not a few parents and educators, and of course in the market, to pretend that the child stops being a child as soon as possible, that they hurry to be older. It is tremendous to observe how there are those who scold the little ones for behaving as what they are, beings full of wonder, inventiveness, curiosity and immense energy. Inflating the creatures of extracurricular activities that prepare them to be someone tomorrow sounds like too much of a rush because they stop being what they are, to speed up the process and, incidentally, stop fucking with the ball. Of course, later we spread the images of our offspring on the networks.

“Psychoanalysis,” I quote Russell again, “has terrified educated parents, who fear to harm their children inadvertently. Parenthood, once a triumphant exercise of power, has become timid, anxious and full of self-doubt. awareness”. Bad idea.

As you can see, I contribute the two extremes – heartbreak and abuse, on the one hand, and suffocation for love and interventionism, on the other – among which childhood and adolescence, even the most covered and satisfied, is pulling as best they can. . Perhaps the true defense of the girls and boys lies in having all of this (remnants of a poisonous pedagogy inherited from the Franco regime, market, school, family …) present to really give them the consideration, freedom, listening and treatment they deserve. . Considering what has been seen, pedagogy has to begin, more than with children, with us older people.


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