Monday, January 17

Lost humanity


elDiario.es has seen fit to publish the two articles that I have written to date. Both have been derived from different political or social events that, as a hook, have served to present my reflections on radicalism.

This time, however, it is something quite different.

There is not a day that I do not meditate on questions like the nature of being. All of us at some point have asked ourselves those great unanswered questions that make up the corpus of philosophical thought: who are we? Where are we going? But after the experience of discovering my own radicalization – since no radical recognizes himself as such – I ask myself these questions from a rather unprecedented perspective.

I have written a book and given many interviews, but I feel like I have only begun to scratch the surface of what I myself have called a “bubble.” It has been more than twenty years inside an invisible jail built practically since my adolescence and whose bars were my mind, the perception of my own reality, as if I could see another!

The kind of person I became, and especially the way I seemed to justify almost any kind of violence, has led me to spend long hours mulling over the idea of ​​evil.

“It’s the absolute lack of empathy,” someone once told me. I think I agree with that description and have come to make it my own and repeat it before an audience of high school students. Am I beating around the bush again? I think so, so I’m going to take the moment when I decided to shape this text, which is, I think, much more graphic.

I have a habit of watching the same movie several times. It may seem like an absurd behavior since the second viewing has already lost all surprise. It is true, but every time I have seen a movie again I have found a detail that had gone unnoticed or I have reached a new reflection that I had not been able to reach before. The tape is always the same but we are not static and immobile beings. We are always learning and, therefore, changing; in such a way that we are not always sensitive to the same stimuli nor do they affect us in the same way.

“Equalizer 2” is the typical North American action movie to pass the time. You don’t expect to see Denzel Washington playing the role of a former CIA thug, but the truth is that he likes such a character. The fact is that, regardless of the central line of action – facing pimps from the Russian mafia in the first part or corrupt former members of his old agency in this other – there are parallel stories where he selflessly uses his skills to help the victims. the rest. One of the recipients of this altruism is a very old Jewish man who as a child was separated from his sister during the Nazi deportations and from whom he never heard from again.

There is a part just before the credits, where we see both meet making it clear that “someone”, “somehow” has made such a meeting possible. I’ve seen that same scene about six or seven times and I’ve always found it beautiful and emotional … but that’s it.

But this time it was different. The origin of this text is in the way I burst into tears, in a way that was as violent and compulsive as it was surprising. What was happening?

For a few moments he could not understand what was happening. I was feeling fine, enjoying my adventures as a former spy for my friend Denzel when suddenly …

I believe that without the intervention of factors such as the Holocaust or the Jews this reaction would not have taken place and this article would never be published. However, somehow, at that particular moment and for something as trivial as a Hollywood movie (Judeowood as I called it) I broke some kind of deep-seated dam from a very young age.

The mind has its mechanisms and that hole closed as fast as it appeared. I have not become by the work and grace of some higher power someone who feels the desire to flagellate himself every time he sees a reference to the Holocaust or the marking of minorities during the Third Reich…. or the present. But if it was already clear that all this is a long process where what matters less is ideology or discourse, now even more so.

After spending years reading revisionist literature on the Holocaust, to this day I am still somehow immune to the effect that viewing a documentary about the thousands of Spaniards murdered in Mauthausen causes in people who have not disconnected from common sense … or from common sensitivity. And we are not fooling ourselves: that is what denialism leads to, whatever its nature.

We have seen it with the current health crisis in which some media spoke of lack of solidarity or selfishness within our society. It’s not just about that. There is a deeper hole and if you analyze it with greater perspective, it is difficult not to see the main lines that converge today, placing yourself above the common good and tomorrow … pointing the finger at those minorities to blame for our ills.



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