Sunday, July 3

Samuel’s bubble

“Fagot”. “Bollera”. “Fuck you.” A shove down the stairs, a punch in the face or marginalization in the schoolyard. What have I done to make my son like that? “.” We have no problem with people like you, but there are colleagues who … you know, you better not say it. “” I don’t rent my apartment to fags like you. “Whoever is LGTBI surely recognizes himself in one of these situations. You have been humiliated in class before you even knew who you were, you had to come out of the closet with your parents with an anxiety attack or they had split your face. hiding something as basic as who you are or what you feel just so it doesn’t hurt so much.

It is then when LGTBI people build a bubble to stop suffering. We are the ones who choose who enters it: our friends, friends, some members of our family and, in the best cases, our co-workers. With his company we are free and we are not afraid to be and feel. To say if someone attracts us or to wear whatever clothes we want. Outside, we activate the survival instinct and remember that previous continuous state of alertness. Inside we are safe. We are so free that, consciously or unconsciously, sometimes we pop the bubble and we are. We are for real. But then reality hits.

At 24, Samuel had that bubble. She went out partying with her friends after working through the worst of the pandemic in a nursing home. But that bubble, in public places, is more difficult to take care of and hide. Samuel had his bubble burst with hosts. They could call him “asshole”, but they yelled “fag” at him, as his friends have denounced. And they killed him.

Outside of that bubble is the reality of a part of society that many times we do not want to be aware of out of fear. In a video broadcast on social networks coinciding with the Pride celebration, four young people ask each other in front of a table and a microphone which was better: “The breast cancer vaccine or gays?” Homosexuality, says another of them, “is a disease that is becoming too global.” “Now, for being straight, for not having the disease, you are a plague,” replies his friend. “Gays, to concentration camps,” concludes another. They will probably not come of age.

Outside the bubble of Samuel, outside the bubble of any LGTBI person, these speeches are no longer hidden. They are comments and attacks that are launched with total conviction, seeking support and dissemination. It is not a conversation of friends in a bottle, it is a conscious homophobic attack. It is what terrifies. And this is just one example of the dozens of verbal and physical attacks that have transpired only during the month of June in Spain. With the active role of some and with the silence of others.

No, Spain is not Hungary. But in 2021, an LGTBI person who comes out of his bubble to go buy bread, look for work or go to party continues to run the risk of being humiliated, insulted, attacked or murdered. Just for the fact of being or feeling. In Spain, in 2021, what is outside the bubble of Samuel, what is outside the bubble of any LGTBI person, continues to be scary. And it’s time to lose it.