Sunday, May 22

The misogyny of the Xokas

—My colleague had a lot of fun flirting with stoned girls, since he was sober (he only drank two juices), it was very easy for him, a crack, really, a fucking pro.

—My colleague has an art that freaks out, he’s not the most handsome but he’s super funny, the son of a bitch flirts a lot and every night he goes home with a different aunt, a crack.

Xokas, these two situations are not the same. And although it is difficult for you to see it, that does not exempt it from being abuse and a predatory attitude.

These days the social networks are burning with the declarations of the Xokas in a stream from Twitch. This person has almost a million followers, and obviously the controversy has been unleashed on Twitter. As the networks go very fast, it has given time to have done another direct debating with another streamer on the subjectand what a joy streamer, who initially condemned his attitude, has softened alleging that it could bring mental health problems to the Xokas. At 8:55 am in the Canary Islands, El Xokas has not yet apologized (I guess he will, the pressure on networks and media is what he does), what’s more, his last tweet was in defense of his friend “el crack”. But what has made me sad and angry the most is seeing how many people have defended not Xokas, but the way of proceeding with drunk girls in nightclubs. That sick rationale for 1: everyone goes to clubs to get drunk; 2: drunk aunts also consent; 3: oh, we are the crystal generation and nothing is going to be done now; 4: I, a straight man, have also gotten drunk and woke up with someone I didn’t like the next day…

And to top it off, the latest hit from “let’s make men understand” is “Imagine if a gay man does the same to you, you’re drunk and well, since you don’t say no, it’s yes”. In a tweet, one person stated that “without this example, my friend does not understand it.” The remedy is worse than the disease, I think that the LGTBIQ+ collective will not be very happy with this simile. In addition, this justification is very misleading, because what generates empathy is that it is happening to you as a man, if you do not understand why it is abuse and it is wrong when it happens to a woman, it is that you do not recognize the woman as an equal or a sentient being.

I suppose that these people who are justifying and normalizing this predatory attitude do not realize the deep misogyny that they have internalized, because I do not explain it to myself in any other way. Or maybe they do know that they are misogynists, because in the same way that they attack the Xokas, they attack people who do not agree with this attitude.

If you go to the clubs for “the high girls” while you are sober, maybe you don’t like the woman in question; if you do not understand the subject of consent well and you think that it only serves to be reported, you still do not know how to read the signs of the other person and also, you do not like the woman in question either; if you don’t care who’s on the other side, you still don’t want to have sex with someone, what you want is to masturbate with another body. For me, if I like someone, I want them to be actively with me and want to have sex, not find the trick to take them home as easily, quickly and cheaply as possible. It really makes me sick that there are so many people discussing “the nuances of drunkenness in question”, who likes to have sex when they are very drunk, everything spins around you and then you throw up? Or worse, unconscious. That this has to be debated means that something is really wrong.

They taught me that in good sex, the people involved enjoy it, and if you don’t care about the other person’s status, you look for a way to take advantage of it and on top of that you justify these actions, darling, I’m sorry to tell you that you don’t like women you hate them