Wednesday, October 27

‘Vicious’ or ‘Shall we have a threesome?’: The comments that bisexual women put up with


This Thursday is International Bisexuality Day and several groups have convened concentrations to claim and be visible. One will be in the Plaza de Callao in Madrid at seven in the afternoon. We take advantage of the anniversary for two bisexual women to tell us the macho comments and attitudes that they have had to endure due to their affective sexual orientation.

Many times cis men, knowing that I am bisexual, have suggested that I do a threesome with another girl, they have taken it for granted that I will want to do it or they have invited me to accompany them to a couples exchange room, without knowing if it was to my taste. or not. Specifically, a sexual affective partner from years ago contacted me a few months ago to comment that he had just accepted his bisexuality and recognized himself as such. Taking advantage of the conversation, he told me that when he returned to his city, I should accompany him to a local exchange of couples because his girlfriend “does not like these things”, assuming that I would gladly accept and without taking into account that I am immersed in a monogamous relationship.

Also in the couple it is complicated. My current partner, a man, has asked me not to speak in front of him about my affective-sexual tastes towards women or other gender expressions, because it is difficult for him to get used to the idea and he “forgets” that I am bisexual. It generally refers to the sexual field … Wow, it is difficult for him to think that I like and enjoy eating pussies and his solution is that I do not remind him, however, I can mention my likes for penises without any problem.

One day when I was in a bar having a few beers, we started talking about oral sex and I commented that I loved oral sex with pussies. He looked at me with wide eyes that turned into a face of concern and told me that he was not able to get used to that type of comments, followed by a battery of questions about whether at some point I will miss oral sex with pussies so much that I will want to leave him, eventually having to convince him that I love him and that a relationship goes beyond oral sex.

On other occasions, both he and men with whom I have been related have suggested that they are not clear about who their opponents are or who they have to have in their sights to detect infidelities since my affective sexual identity covers many possibilities.

A few years ago I was having sporadic encounters with a boy. One night after partying we agreed to meet in Sol at 6, when the subway opened, to go together to my house to finish the night. We arrived early and had to wait, and talking about sexuality, reminding him that he was bisexual, he started yelling at me that that was disgusting asking me if he had had encounters with any girl while he had been having encounters with him, with a disgusted face. I left him there spitting pestilence and went happily home.

Ana

When I lived outside of Spain with my best friend, the two of them fresh out of the closet as encore, I met a Spanish boy and I started to like him. One day a holiday came a new girl who danced incredible and began to attract me a lot. In front of him and my friend, I began to fan myself with my hand as a synonym for how much she got on me and to make a little joke that I got hot just by seeing her.

I went to the bathroom and when the boy came back he avoided me, he was weird and I didn’t understand why. When we were going home my friend told me that when I went to the bathroom he said he did not know that I was “a lesbian.” My friend, annoyed, told her that what I was is bisexual. “Oh, I mean a lifelong vicious,” she replied. My friend was also upset because she was not able to react to that comment and tell him that she was too.

Every time we met again, he answered me cold, distant and totally changed his relationship with me but not with the others. This was the first biphobic experience that I suffered while being out of the closet, it was hard because the boy did not even like me that much, but that someone literally stopped approaching me because of my affective sex orientation was something that affected me a lot for a while until I finally found more bisexual people to talk to.

AND.

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